So here I am at the halfway point of my pregnancy! 20 weeks in, 20 weeks to go. I have been very lucky to have what I consider a fairly boring, normal, nonexciting pregnancy so far (knock on wood!).
While there was some definite queasiness the first few weeks, I didn’t throw up at all. No serious aversions besides yoghurt and eggs, which seems to have gone away. No crazy cravings, except preferring salty over sugary the first trimester, which also seems to have gone away and chocolate is back in my diet almost daily. This mild sweets aversion early on probably helped keep my weight gain in the acceptable range.
I’ve also managed to stay active, which I know is definitely helping with the weight gain. No running, since I had stopped running regularly a few months before I got pregnant, but lots of walking, elliptical, weights, yoga, or at least a little 10 minute video most days. I’ve been to the pool a few times, since my doctor’s advice for any aches and pains is to go swimming. As the weather gets warmer, I’ll hopefully swim more.
I seem to get symptoms one at a time, rather than all at once. So one week it was back pain, then another it was heartburn, another dizziness, then breathlessness . . . but it’s never super bad, and never every day, so about 80% of the time I forget I’m pregnant and I tend to blame symptoms on other things. Like, I’m definitely very tired most days, but I was tired before, and it’s winter so less sun which affects me a lot. Or like, I had weird digestion issues before, and winter food is heavier, lots of cheese, so I just assume stomach stuff has nothing to do with the baby.
I don’t know where this dislike of “blaming” the baby for things is coming from, but I’m sure it’s cultural to a certain extent (L wrote about cultural differences recently). So maybe I am trying to find reasons I am causing this, rather than someone/something else. Or it could just be that I still don’t totally believe that I am pregnant (I mean really, I can find an excuse for nearly every single “symptom”!), and I am having trouble picturing a baby in there/in my arms.
Though I think it’s also just kind of how I am. I prepare for things really well and then deal with them, knowing that I did my best to plan for different outcomes so whatever happens will happen. I am reassured by my research that my “I just don’t believe it” feelings are normal, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time trying to make myself feel a certain way about things. If it becomes more “real” in a few weeks, once the baby starts moving around, cool. If I still don’t believe it until there’s a bouncing bundle of joy that looks a little like me (but hopefully more like my adorable husband!) in my arms, then that’s just when it’ll happen for me.
So when people ask how I’m doing, I know that these confused feelings are not what they’re talking about! They want to know about the morning sickness and weight gain, and they almost seem disappointed when I say things are fine, like they’re expecting some horror story. The only really scary thing(s) so far are my boobs, which are out of control! I could pretend the tenderness in the first few weeks was because of too many pushups (despite not having done any) but I can’t ignore the size. Neither can my husband! But that’s not really something his mother’s friends, or my colleagues, or our banker, want to hear. I also think they don’t want to hear about my acne that hasn’t been this bad in 10 years (and it’s everywhere but my face, ew) so I instead I mention the lack of stretch marks on my belly so far (KNOCK ON ALL THE WOOD).
One thing everyone seems to enjoy are weekly bump pictures, and we’ve definitely been doing that. I seemed to “pop” around 16 weeks, so I’m sure there’ll be a more noticeable difference in the weeks to come than there was in the first few months. But still, looking back at week 5 and now at week 20, I can’t deny there’s definitely something in there, and not just too much tartiflette. (And holy cow, was I ever skinny four months ago! I’m thinking I should maybe hang onto some of this extra weight . . .)
Hopefully I can write that things are still boring, normal, and nonexciting in another 20 weeks (though I’m sure the delivery will provide some definite excitement)!