I’m going back to work this Wednesday, and I’m having the typical mixed feelings a new mother can expect. I’m excited to go back to doing something I enjoy, but nervous about how pumping will fit into my schedule. I’m also very nervous about not being able to pump enough, since I don’t have a big freezer stock. I’m not too worried about bébé being with the nanny, since he’s been there a few times already, but I still don’t know how he’ll react to his daddy being the one to drop him off and pick him up. I don’t know how either of us will handle not seeing each other for over 11 hours.
I did or will do all the things the different books and blogs suggest. I’ve been pumping for awhile, so I’m used to my pump. I got a haircut. I’ll get my nails and eyebrows done tomorrow. I have some new clothes to wear the first week back. I’ve been to visit the office, and I’ve been sending emails regularly to stay in touch.
I’m not sure how to spend these last few days. My husband needs to learn the daily routine, so should I stay out of his way and do my own thing? Or should I spend as much time as possible with bébé? If I had gone back a month ago, I think I would have been fine doing my own thing. The first weeks I really felt like a glorified milk bottle, and with all the nap issues he had, I really looked forward to my husband getting home so I could finally have a few minutes to myself. But now bébé is so much more interactive, and the smiles and giggles come so easily. It feels like he’ll notice more when I’m not there.
However, I am looking forward to an entire day without the same mobile songs playing over and over and over . . . And eating lunch at a normal speed. And reading more than three pages of my book in one sitting. And wearing somethings besides leggings.
But then I think about how I’ll see him awake for less than two hours during the week, and my heart gets tight, and those annoying mobile songs don’t sound so bad anymore.
So yeah, like I said, normal mixed feelings! We’ll see how I feel next weekend!